Crash And Burn

So I have a really good excuse for my absence, firstly things with “The Flying Pho” have ended. It turns out there is a reason why a hot, 34 year old pilot with his own home was still single, he had it all and it was all about him, ALL ABOUT HIM.

I usually don’t talk or even feel badly about my exes, I always felt I’ve learned from them and take that lesson with me but with the pho, I really don’t felt I learned anything, except that he was always right – ALWAYS.

And don’t you forget it!

So while past few weeks started with me pathetically  Bridget Jones-ing it on the lounge living off Tim Tams and vodka, it has ended with me scoring a permanent role at my awesome company, I’m currently studying journalism and landed a freelancing role with a major network and I must have been doing the right thing because I’m now there full time!

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I’m a little overwhelmed at the thought of balancing uni and full time work and I’m now going to have to stretch out uni for another year but the opportunity is just too good to pass up and it’s a major foot in the door in the media industry, so excited!

And just like clockwork “Captain Vietnam” has popped back into my life again, he’s way too inconsistent to make a good boyfriend but he’s definitely something nice to look at and boost my ego while I become one of those career obsessed woman with no time for a relationship.

So I have a question for all you lucky girls who follow my blog who have managed to pin down a gorgeous Asian hubby – were you guys into Asian men before you met The One? Or were they your first?

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28 thoughts on “Crash And Burn

  1. Just found this website on the Internet. Interesting blog but I don’t understand why you want Asian guys. You and Asian guys have nothing in common. Personally, I think you should just find a white guy in your company. I don’t believe this AMWW thing.

    • I’ve answered this question a few times https://myasianfixation.wordpress.com/2013/02/22/why-asian-men/ and you’re entitled to your opinion but it’s strange and extremely close minded that you think just because 2 people come from 2 different backgrounds that means they have nothing in common, it would be a pretty boring world if white aussies only married white aussies and asians only married asians etc, not to mention an extremely sad and racist world. I can’t help the way I feel and I’m not going to apologise or feel bad for being attracted to a certain type of guy who the majority of the time, happens to be Asian.

      • Well, you know the good values you mentioned in the link are mainly for REAL Asian guys, not those who grew up here. People in Asian do work harder, plan for their future and take care of their family. But when you have a date with REAL asian guy, I think he will find it hard to share things with you and you will also find it hard to share things with you because the culture is so different. Therefore, a relationship with a REAL asian guy may be more boring for you.

        But I really respect you because you at least have a different thinking from other Aussie girls who only stick to Aussies or look up to European guys.

        • I understand you’re point and i can see why that could be a problem if there is no willingness to adapt, “The One” was very Singaporean, born and raised there only coming here to study and at the beginning of our relationship the culture clash was a major issue, strangely enough though we are really good friends now but we both realised it will never work as more then that. I guess i will more of a taste of a “real asian” in japan soon 🙂 27 days and counting!

          • Things become more complicated if you meet an Asian guy who wasn’t born here. There is a possibility that he doesn’t like his own culture and want to be white washed. If that’s the case, I don’t suppose you will find him interesting. Another possibility is that he may just look for a better life here. Then he may still be too asian to find a white girlfriend.

            Therefore, you need to find someone who is asian enough to respect his culture and not too asian to date you. Also, based on what I see on the blog, you like tall, strong guys.

            In total, he needs to have good looking and asian enough but too asian at the same time. Well, I have never seen one here. Therefore, I think things will go smoothly if you find a white guy.

          • Please do not stereotype all Asian men from Singapore to the the same or similar. . Rest assured there are REAL Asian men out there who are more Aussie than Aussies 🙂

          • I know an Aussie girl who used to be like you. She learned Mandarin by listening to CD every morning when she drove to university or work. Also, she went to Beijing to see Chinese Opera (even native Chinese teenagers won’t do it) and pandas. She had a plan to teach English in Taiwan for one year. She met a Taiwanese on the Internet and dated for a period of time.

            But things changed when an Aussie guy appears. She now lives with her aussie boyfriend and in a long term relationship. It makes me think that you may just need a decent Aussie. And the appearance of your Aussie boyfriend may clear all illusions you are having now.

            Having said that, I hope you will find your dream Asian guy soon. Good thing about dating with Asian guys is that once you two got married, he will likely to stay with you for life. You may get divorced in two years and he will cheat on you if you find an Aussie.

            Happy for your Japanese trip. Upload some photos here and I am sure everyone wants to see it!

        • Hey Rick,
          I’m Jeff. I’m American. I’m Chinese. I speak 2 Chinese dialects, live and love my Chinese culture and roots. I’m a REAL Asian guy if we go by the 3 stereotypes you’ve equated to REAL Asian guys. So I would respectfully disagree with your assertion that Asian men in Asia are “REAL” Asian Guys; while an Aussie Asian and specifically this American Asian guy are not. I’m Asian. I’m American. I’m REAL, dude.

          We all have those head turning physical traits we’re attracted to and have no control over. I have the utmost respect for the author of this blog and anyone else that goes beyond the physical attraction and makes the effort to embrace and explore a culture that is not native to them. If one pays attention to the Asian men that have fallen to wayside in this blog, it’s because of the person and not because they were Asian.

          • Hi Jeff, I think you misunderstood what I said. Of course you are a real person. But if you go back to China/Hong Kong/Taiwan, you will find out you are not one of them if you grew up in America. You got the Asian look but the way you see things and react is totally different from native Chinese people.

            What I am saying is that Asian men grew up in Australia will likely to lose those good values mentioned in the link.

          • Also, you don’t realise you are not that Asian until you go back to meet native Chinese. The things they like, the topics they discuss, the way they see the world and the music they listen to are all different.

            Of course, those three values are just examples. Don’t play with words. You know what I mean.

    • I think the greatest mistake in your comment is that you seem to generalize too much about how things are in the Asian community. I find that so odd that in 2013 we still have these concrete beliefs about the nature of compatibility and such…come on dude… i thought information and the internet changed all that. I think you have a very narrow view regarding AMWF relations. It is very obvious that many of your points basically say the same thing, that because Asian culture is so different, its impossible to facilitate the differences in a relationship. I completely disagree with this because every relationship has a different dynamic to it and I am a firm believer in that what matters are the human qualities, not the cultural differences that really allow for a fulfilling relationship. As our blogger has already pointed out in countless posts on this blog, the culture clash hasn’t been the main problem for her in her experience and it has always been the characteristics of each individual that she has dated that led to the downfall of the relationship. As much as you will try to link this character flaw with cultural differences, that is just a bad argument because cultural differences are not concrete character flaws. They are the environment that you are raised under as someone who belongs to a certain group of people and if a person wishes to understand your culture, all you have to do is explain to them what it is, educate them as best as you can and subject them to a similar environment. We are humans and we have the same emotions, desires, hopes and dreams and what not and this cultural difference has been the least of my worries when I met my not so Asian GF.

      If you haven’t had time to read through the blog perhaps you should ask the blogger what environment she was subjected to when growing up in the outer suburbs of Sydney. A melting pot of people form all over the world with different race culture customs and what not. for me it is too obvious that she has an interest in other cultures because this was what she was exposed to as a child and in her adolescence. Isn’t it too obvious that she would find people from other races attractive and also develop a keen interest in Asian cultures as well as others that she came in contact with?

      And what is a real Asian guy?….A 5 foot 3′ ninja faced ,bowl hair cut dude with crazy greed for money and education and a small dick?….Or a tall lanky metro-sexual hotness that wears more make up than your auntie and wouldn’t look out of place on a Paris runway?….the typical asian guy is not the typical asian guy….it’s a changing dynamic as with all things that change with time

      If you migrate to a western country when you are young or are a second generation asian, does this mean that you are force whitewashed? and that because of this you are less likely to be asian due to this fortunate/unfortunate event?…..0_o
      really? maybe another way of looking at it is…perhaps you hold onto older traditional values of your culture due to your parents holding onto these almost extinct values till death ( Asian parents who migrate have social values and tradition close to the time of departure of their country and do not evolve with the times of the country they migrated from… this is a fact!!) and obviously maybe this is why when people who migrated early or are 2nd gen go back to their respective Asian countries and cannot cope with these radical new ideas that happen to be floating about 20-30-40 yrs after they have left their country… perhaps whitewashing is the wrong word because it is the society that they originally migrated from that is whitewashed….due to globalization and countless other things i don’t need to mention.(changing beauty ideals, social ideals etc etc)…basically what im saying is, ideals always change and values always change and even social customs too and to label it as whitewashing is very untrue and wrong.

      Whenever i go back to my country of birth i feel im more asian than most people who r trying to whitewash themselves or keep up with the latest global trends and such and lose touch with history and culture. it is a sad thing to say that migrants probably have higher values regarding these things as opposed to the people there but who can blame change? it happens all the time everywhere.
      i doubt i will change my values to the newer ones…. i hold them dear to my heart and from my perspective, i feel like the newer Asian generations are like infidels, void of heritage, culture and customs of the old and also being excessively materialistic, spoilt and disrespectful of the old ways. If u wanna argue fundamentals of what makes Asian culture what it is, i think it’s important to not look at the ‘now’ trends but the past, that’s why history is so important right? to all the Asian people.

      Oh and regarding cultural clashes of mixed couples, I’m not sure if you have any experience with these types of relationships but i’ll break a little misjudgment on your part by telling u something that you’ll probably be surprised at. My parents are shocked at my gf being so traditional in a sense that her characteristics exemplify the traditional virtues of what a girl from my background would be like which is almost non-existant in this day and age. im not going to say that this is a cultural quality that she carries from her background (German) but hang on a sec?…0_o hmm strangely enough the virtues that she has from her background is virtually identical to the virtues that are held high in my background…oh and all the other background too for that matter….perhaps its wise to look at the upside of how things are and focus on the fact that any relationship across all races and sexes and so forth are a result of character compatibility and attraction as opposed to cultural differences and so forth. for me it has been a blessing to have someone who can further my knowledge about the world and the synergy that is created in such situations only strengthens my belief that AMWF can work quite nicely without the social stigma and racial tolerances and such.

  2. Hi! I’d like to leave a POSITIVE comment for ya, unlike ‘some’ people on here (roll eyes). I’m a WF married to an AM. We’ve been married for 9 years. He is second generation, American born. He is the perfect blend of American knowledge, culture, and language, but he also still practices Asian customs, values, and traditions–and knows how to cook Asian food. I LOVE this about him. He loves me for ME–not the stereotypes that come with white women, because he KNOWS me. He loves my pretty face, full figure and curves, so vagina size (how the heck would I know what size mine is?) doesn’t matter to him. Anyway, it’s our love and how we use it that makes the lovin’ good. 🙂 Also, you asked if I had the Asian fixation after I met him, or if I had it before I met him. Like you, I was naturally attracted to Asian men BEFORE I met and married mine, and some of them, likewise, were attracted to me. This has never changed… I just happened to get lucky and marry one of them. Many American men don’t think highly of this–they are racist and look down on this. But I don’t care. I’ve dated white men also…and I’d choose an AM any day. In my opinion, based on my experience, AMs are way better lovers and treat me with more respect. They are also a lot of fun. Also, my AM and I have a beautiful, mixed daughter. That’s another good thing about WFAM or WMAF relationships–beautiful kids! I wish you the best in your quest, dating life, and search for your Asian Jedi! 🙂

    • Btw, I read a few of your blog posts, so some of my comments above pertain to other posts of yours, as you may have noticed. The above is really a reply to all of your posts that I read.

  3. Congratulations with your job!
    I didn’t actually think Asian guys were interested until. Did some research and found a forum that was all about am/wf
    And found that all guys like women Doh!! Haha! I looked fbecause out of all the men I’ve seen Asian lookin guys are the most Handsome ^_^

  4. Hello, I like your blog. So far, I read some of your issues about the Vietnamese pho-man. It sounds like you’re a woman trying to find the right man. It just so happens the type of man you like is an Asian one. At least, he has Asian features. That’s what you’re attracted to. And you enjoy the positive aspects of Asian culture, but not the negative ones.

    Perhaps the Vietnamese pho-man is simply very self-absorbed, and that’s a personality issue, not really related to his Asian culture specifically.

    -Dave
    Michigan, United States

  5. Hey…congratulations and good luck….. i always knew u had the gift of the Gab!! remember? ^^
    wow it seems like your readership has increased quite a lot… try to write more if possible and update often? 0_o

  6. I rarely comment, but I love your blog. Sorry to hear this guy didn’t work out (men can be dumb).
    My fiance is Japanese (and spent fifteen years boxing), so I completely understand the attraction to Asian men. If you find the right one: they’re cute; they’re confident; the love to dote.

    Anyways, thanks for the entertaining dating stories!

  7. Rick is right and Rick is also wrong. How can you expect people to be real Chinese, when you mention China / HK / Taiwan. Those places don’t even have people with the same culture or personalities. Blogger girl wants an Asian guy, based on what she knows about Asia and whatever’s stereotypes. Asia’s a big place!

    Really like this blog. I’ve gone out with very attractive white girls, but the dates never got past the second date. There’s definitely some faux pas the blog has mentioned! Flowers… chopsticks (Japanese) . Love to keep reading, discover some more things you hate about dating Asians :)!

  8. I’m from the tropics and living in Sydney for 2 years now.

    A couple of months into our marriage, this happened…

    I came home one time and asked my wife what’s for lunch. She said “go make yourself some. There’s food in the fridge.”

    I realised that was the start of a very long, interesting love/hate affair between two cultures.

    I am trying to understand as I am not from Awstraya. Then I found your blog. I want to understand what makes me wife, white.

    • Im a little confused, you think your wife telling you to make yourself lunch is a white thing? I think its just a 2014 thing, regardless of where you and your wife are from i don’t think one person should be expected to prepare all the meals, yes its usually the woman and if really bothers you that your wife thought you could handle the strenuous task of making a sandwich then you should probably talk to her about it and learn to accept and adapt to each others differences. I have friends with all different backgrounds who cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for their partners and i have some who share the responsibilities.

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