I get quite a few emails from Asian guys asking me the above question and while I kind of want to scream back “Hello! right here!” I politely reply with a few helpful tips that I thought I would share.
Keep in mind I’m not an expert and still searching for my perfect guy, so I can only speak from experience.
Things to keep in mind
- Best not to use the word “white” when describing your dream Caucasian girl, yes I use it but I’m white so therefore that makes it OK :p seriously though, it doesn’t offend me but it might offend some.
- Just because you’re Asian and you know she’s into Asian guys, that doesn’t mean she will just jump into your arms purely because you’re Asian, so come up with a backup plan other than standing around looking gorgeous.
- Don’t let her know that you have never dated a non-Asian girl before, I’m not sure how other girls feel about this but that for me just sends off alarm bells because I don’t want to be your experiment or reason to piss of your traditional parents who are dying for you to move back to Singapore with a nice Asian girl and have nice Asian babies…. Ok let’s not get into that, just don’t treat her like a novelty.
- Don’t tell us you like Caucasian chicks because you dig curvy/tall/voluptuous women these are all code words for gigantic, fatty boombas. Something that quite a few white girls fear, is feeling big next to their Asian boyfriend, just imagine how you would feel if we told you how much we loved “cute, little, itty bitty guys”…. See where I’m going here? My experience has been with Asian guys who are usually taller and bigger than me but it’s a fact that a lot of Asian guys are of a small stature.
- Stop referring to your big/little/average/whatever penis… honestly if she is interested in an Asian guys, then she probably doesn’t subscribe to the stereotype and if she thinks it’s true then she probably doesn’t care either way because she knows it’s about technique not size.
- I do actually think a lot of white girls are open to dating Asian guys, they have just never thought about it. How often do you actually see Asian men with white girls? (I have been openly pointed at and stared at on a number of occasions when out with Asian guys because it its uncommon and it’s only ever other Asians who point and stare). It’s really the same reason you see more couples with the same background then mixed, Most people go with the flow and do what they’re familiar with most of the time. When my friends find out I’m into Asian guys, yes at first they think I’m strange but then they start to tell me that have noticed a lot of hot Asian guys around lately… it’s not that you hotties weren’t around before, it’s just that they never looked because they are so accustomed to only noticing hot guys from wherever they are from, just like some Asian guys have really never bothered to notice white girls before, or even find Caucasians attractive, so don’t be afraid to open her eyes. Break the mold.
- How to approach a white girl
- Probably just the same as you would approach any other girl (as long as it isn’t wolf whistling or beeping your horn at her), you don’t have to treat us any differently or be afraid to approach us because chances are if you are shy and wondering if she’s into Asian guys, she is probably shy and wondering if you are into white girls. Don’t act aloof or as if you are too cool to care, tell her you think shes cute and see where it goes from there.
Note: if she rejects you, don’t just assume it’s because you’re Asian, maybe it is but maybe it’s just because she’s not that into you or has a boyfriend … not everything is a racial issue.
Where to meet white girls
- I live in a mainly Asian dominated area (and Australia itself is has a huge population of Asians, I honestly feel Caucasian Australians are becoming a minority here) and no I didn’t move there just for the eye candy but it was a plus, the problem is, us white people do stick out like sore thumbs around here. Occasionally you find us hiding in Oportos or the one and only pub but I think if you want to meet a white girl you might have to get out of your comfort zone, just like I do when I suck it up and walk into the Japanese restaurant that I’m clearly not supposed to be in because hardly anything on the menu is translated into English or the kitsch Korean junk store where the store owners eye me off from behind the Hello Kitty stand while I try to figure out what double eyelid glue is.
- One thing I have noticed about white girls who are into Asian guys, is they tend to be a little… geeky (I can say that because I am one of them but best not say that to her) If you like an Asian guy then you may be into anime, Asian culture, Asian food etc… so check out anime conventions, restaurants that do translate into English and Chinatown on a Sunday afternoon – white people love that shit and you guys know it, which is why they always rip us off when we try to haggle.
- When I was dating “The One” I was constantly asked by his Asian friends “Where did you meet, uni or work?” the answer was neither, there are other ways to meet people and it doesn’t have to involve a night club either if you are over 25.
- If you are under 25 then why are you asking me how to meet girls? Go to a club and to find one that doesn’t just want a one night stand, try not sleeping with her the night you meet her and see how that works out. Treat her like a lady and she might act like one (no that doesn’t mean plastering her with drinks and grinding up against her), ask her what her name is and actually remember it, ask her questions about herself (no awkward topics) don’t walk off after 3 minutes to find more girls, if you get her number actually contact her!
- If clubs aren’t your thing and you’re not into asking out strangers, then try breaking a comfort pattern, look around your friends, are they all Asian? How do you expect to meet white girls if you are surrounded by only Asian people? As a white girl who has wanted to walk up to a hot Asian guy surrounded by other Asians plenty of times, let me tell you, it’s extremely intimidating. I guess the same can be said to walking up to a group of white people but I can’t really give advice on that considering I’m one of the few in my group of friends who was actually born here.
- Be creative, pay for her coffee if she’s behind you in line at a cafe. Be bold, walk up and just let her know you think she’s cute and would love to hear from her and give her your number, no pressure, there is no real chance of rejection upfront (unless she’s a total bitch) and if she is taken, she will just see it as a compliment and you will make her day. If she has never thought about dating an Asian guy, this will give her time to consider contacting you. Don’t be sleazy, be friendly, don’t stare at her waiting for a response, don’t pressure her and leave the decision up to her.
- I think places like the inner west of Sydney and areas popular with Asians are more likely to have white girls that are open to dating Asian men. Try Strathfield, Cabramatta, Bankstown, Canley Vale and Chinatown or any area near a uni.
- If all else fails, online dating? Sites like Hey-AI and AMWFSN are designed for girls who love Asian guys from all around the world, not just Australia. There are also facebook groups.
Finally, and this is my biggest tip – GET OVER IT!
- Seriously, it’s 2013 and not as weird as it used to be, if she has a problem with you being Asian why would you want to date her anyway?
I can’t tell you the number of dates I’ve screwed up on by blabbing on and on about how we are both from different cultures he couldn’t really care less and just likes me because I’m well, me! And who wouldn’t like me :p All I’ve done is just point out something for him to feel insecure about that he hadn’t really given much thought to before I opened my big white mouth.
Seriously though, this last tip goes against the ramblings on my blog but understand my blog is amplified, I write about how weird it is for a white girl to be into Asian guys because that’s the topic of the blog. I also have blogs on beauty and lifestyle which would make you think that waxing and home furnishing is the most important thing in the world but that’s just because I’m an awesome writer and really convincing.