Ok so it’s been a majorly long time in-between posts, did I run away with “The Korean Doctor” (who will know be known as “K-Doc”)? Get pregnant with my future super adorable, half Caucasian, half Asian baby? Decide to make up with “The One”? Nope, Nope and I wish …
I just got shingles.
If you don’t know what shingles are, the simplest way to describe it is like adult chicken pox but really painful and never ending, it basically decided to take over half my body (yes just half, my left side if you were wondering) and just killed me. So I’ve just spent the last month sitting on my right side and living off painkillers while I complain and mope about because people have zero sympathy, they either are terrified they are going to catch it (which thanks to “K-Doc”, I know shingles aren’t infectious after 72 hours) or they don’t understand how a little rash can be so painful and tell me to suck it up.
So apart from feeling like the monkey from outbreak recently, I began and ended a mini relationship with “K-Doc”, it ended as quickly as it started.
So because I’m not going to dwell on it, here is a quick rundown of my 2 weeks (I think? I wasn’t even counting) with “K-Doc”. I got my kiss, and it just went downhill from there. I kind of always knew he wasn’t for me but I just didn’t have the heart to tell him and I kind of just kept pumping myself up to see him “just one more date and I might find that chemistry”, it was pretty easy to do considering he lives 90 minutes away and I only saw him on the weekends.
So the distance might have been a factor as well as the overwhelming obsession he seemed to have for me (I did get the feeling he just wanted to be in any relationship though, regardless of who it was with). Every time I saw him he bought me an extravagant gift and actually wrote and serenaded me with a song (awkward!). It was so over the top and I never really got a chance to figure out how I felt about him without a present being shoved in my face but I did learn how much of a turn off desperation can be, the guy reeked of it! He was such an obvious only child and constantly needed to be the center of attention and wanted me to make him the center of my world.
Another major factor was that he was extremely submissive. I didn’t need to be with another mummy’s boy and despite some peoples arguments of Asian men being submissive, I have actually found Asian men to be quite dominate and manly in my relationships, which is what I loved about them. I’m not talking the hard yakka, king gee wearing, VB swelling type of manly but the opening doors, dressing nicely, wearing aftershave, charismatic, confident and hard working type of manly.
“K-Doc” asked “how high” without me asking him to jump, he had a knitted jumper collection to rival Bill Cosby and actually turned down spending a night at my place because he didn’t want to make his mum angry by not going home. To put it bluntly he was a doormat.
I also really don’t think he had figured himself out yet which bothers me a lot, if you have reached 30 and still don’t have a clue about who you are then I pretty much think your doomed.
So it ended, I wasn’t angry or sad…. I think that’s a major warning sign it wasn’t meant to be and I’m glad he never did spend the night because I clearly didn’t have strong feelings for the guy.
“The One”, on the other hand is still swimming about in my head, I compare every guy I meet to him, I think about him a lot, not obsessively but when I think about men, I just think about “The One”. It’s actually hard to even consider the possibility of me ever even being attracted to another man. I struggle to say their name instead of his and I find myself heading down that dark tunnel of rekindling it despite the fact that I know he’s no good for me and he has said he wants to stay single … his actions speak louder than words (I know I sound like a rapist “no means yes”) but seriously I know I’m not over the guy, I know I’m headed for heartbreak and I know I still think there is the slightest chance of hope. I know I’m delusional right now, not in a psychotic way because I can keep away from him and I don’t practice signing my name as Mrs “The One” and collect his old chewing gum or anything but I’m just confused as to who the hell can top him.
Until I find a guy that blows “The One” out of the water, he is always going to be The One that got away.