The Asian Poker Face

If you have ever dated an Asian guy then you will know what I’m talking about, it’s the blank stare, the I don’t have a clue what the hell he is thinking about look. I call it The Asian Poker Face. If you’re not familiar with it, this should clear up any confusion.

If he is happy he looks like


If he is angry he looks like


If he thinks you’re hot


If he’s just not that into you


Get the picture?


I have no idea if you understand what I’m going on about or not… So I’m just going to continue.

Now I wouldn’t complain if Ryan Higa was my date but In my experience it can be extremely hard to read Asian men, I consider myself quite intuitive, I’m incredibly aware of what other people are thinking because basically I’m a people pleaser, I want everyone to be happy and like me and yes, I’m aware this will be my downfall but that’s a topic for another post.

So The Poker Face was my experience with “The Korean Doctor”

We went to a really hip, yuppie restaurant that served food such as Tiede wagyu tartare, onsen egg & truffle meringue and Deconstructed smoked pinapple brulee, salted coconut sorbet & chilli lemon nube

I have to say I was impressed that he picked such a nice place, I was even more impressed that he didn’t pick an Asian restaurant! It’s not that I don’t like Asian food but I do find Asian food a little… messy, it’s not date material, all that slurping and slippery chopsticks, the spicy that’s so spicy it makes your eyes water, the food that is so weird you have to specify “no offal”. Asian food just isn’t sexy and the best Asian food usually isn’t served in the nicest surroundings so, however this food was far too cool and sophisticated for us and it did provide some interesting talking material.

What I found odd was during the tasting of this yuppie food, his face pretty much stayed the same… it was the same way he looked when we met, when we said goodbye and when he took a mouthful of what he described as “a tuna flavoured margarita”

So even though he called me back and even though he has told me via text that he does like me… The Asian Poker Face is throwing me off big time.

I’m big on body language and it can really throw me off if a person doesn’t smile and this guy just doesn’t really smile, or laugh or anything. Based on that non emotional face alone if he was a white guy, I would assume he was miserable and delete his number but for an Asian guy… damn it could mean anything. For all I know he is naming our Eurasian babies as I write this.

I’m not in a rush to start another relationship, I’m still trying to get over the last one but it would be nice to know if I’m going to end up being another experiment for this one or if he actually likes me as more than just “That White Girl I’m Dating”.

I get that it’s uncommon for an Asian guy to kiss a girl on the first few dates because for an Asian guy, a kiss usually signifies the start of a relationship, where as for an Aussie girl a kiss signifies that you like each other and you still aren’t a couple until it’s spoken about but I didn’t even get a kiss hello on the cheek. Yes I’m aware this is more a custom for Caucasians then for Asians but if your dating a white girl and you are aware that white people have different behaviours and she leans in to say hi with a kiss on the cheek on a date, then boys… kiss her on the cheek! You gotta meet me half way here, I know some Asians find it extremely uncomfortable to kiss hello on the cheek but myself and my friends and I find it extremely uncomfortable not to, it’s weird for us to be introduced to somebody and have that awkward moment where you stand there and stare at each other, shaking hands is way too formal and waving just makes us feel like you’re in a parade.

My point is, despite the fact he has said “I like you” and spoiled me rotten with fancy dates and gifts, the fact that I have yet to receive a kiss on the cheek and I never see a smile, just his Poker Face, makes me wonder what the hell is going on.

If this date was with a white guy, I would assume we were done and I was never going to hear from him again, in Asian terms I’m guessing it was a great date and we are going to see each other again.


6 thoughts on “The Asian Poker Face

  1. that’s funny and so true. I married an asian guy and after 9 years I still can tell what he’s thinking. He gets home and I say, “honey why are you in such a bad mood?”
    “I’m not I had a great day.” or we hear that one of our friends has died and I’m crying and he’s stone faced and I ask him why he doesn’t care and he says, “I am horribly sad, can’t you tell?” NO, no I can’t.

  2. Pingback: The Flying Pho Date Chronicles | My Asian Fixation

  3. Holy crap, this is too funny! I lol’d throughout the whole post because its true and I’m Korean so I know exactly what you’re talking about!

    You’d think I was rolling on the floor laughing while reading this post but I looked just like that guy in the pictures. LOL! J/k. :p

  4. only one thing to say, soooo true :D, although I have to be fair, “sunshine” does come up with “some expressions”, suppose that’s cause he was born and raised in England, who knows…


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