Why is it so hard for a white girl to find an Asian boyfriend?
I can only speak from my personal experiences and I can tell you its damn hard! Firstly, I’m going to point out the obvious, Asians only really ever seem to hang around other Asians. This is based purely on my observation and of course I have plenty of Asian friends and know they have other friends who aren’t Asian but whenever I spot a cute Asian guy, he seems to be surrounded by other Asians. This raises two problems for me, the first being… what if he can’t speak English? Now I don’t think I’m being racist or ignorant here, I know the majority of immigrants can speak English, I know that “The One’s” first language was English, even growing up in Singapore but occasionally I have met tourists who barely speak a word of English and also new immigrants who my Asian friends have pointed out may be embarrassed by their beginner English skills, which is why they choose to socialise only with other Asians and clam up when speaking to another person whose first language is English.
The other problem is they may not be into non Asians, I have met Asian guys who will only date other Asians, which is their choice and I respect it, I think it’s totally unfair and will pout about it but it’s their choice.
On the rare occasion I have worked up the courage to ask an Asian guy out I am usually met with the same response “really?” followed by them asking me if I have “Yellow Fever” or if I’m into Asian guys and why?
- If I ever do get past the actual introduction phase, then I usually (not all the time but most of the time) find myself categorised into one of the two.The “White Girl Experiment” for Asian guys, more often than not I often hear comments from the guy I’m on a date with referring to my race, things like “do Aussies do this or that..” or I get asked questions about why Aussie girls do this or that… they will tell me they have never been with a non Asian girl and it takes them forever to introduce me their friends (if ever), I will never ever meet his parents (unless he is going through a rebellious phase) and they always seem impressed when I can use chopsticks, constantly drop hints to let me know not all Asian guys are small “down there” and ask me if I’m ok with trying spicy food.
These guys move slower than a snail and take forever to actually show any sign of commitment or vulnerability, they usually have huge egos and tend to try and show me what I’ve apparently been missing out on.
- I can also end up being the “White Trophy” I actually had one guy tell me how impressed his friends would be that not only was he dating a white girl but that I was a “real Aussie with blonde hair and blue eyes” needless to say he wasn’t dating a white girl for much longer. These guys seem to take great pleasure in pointing out our differences and move way too fast, they will invite me to a family dinner within 2 weeks of meeting me and parade me around to all their friends like a shiny new car. They are usually really lazy and think they can get away without putting in any effort. The shine wears off pretty fast and I either dump them or become the dumpee.
So how does a white girl meet an Asian guy? I’ve exhausted all my connections, asking my friends if they have any nice single Asian male friends for me, I can’t do the club scene again and the last time I approached a cute Korean waiter at a restaurant and asked him out, he ended up being young enough to put me in jail (damn it’s tricky to tell), most Asian guys to me look about 15 until they look 90.
The other problem I have, is that Asian guys rarely approach me, I’ve been told by many that this is because they assume white girls don’t like Asian guys and if I approach them, there is the huge possibility that I will scare them off as I’m playing up to the stereotype that white women are aggressive and outspoken. It’s a double edge samurai sword.
Do I really have to resort to online dating?