From “Girlfriend” to “Ang Moh” in one Facebook comment

I recently made a decision. I only want to date Asian men. I’m Australian born and a pretty typical blonde hair, blue eyed kind of girl with one minor difference… while my friends were idolising Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Timerlake in 1995, I had posters of Keanu Reeves on my wall. I just always preferred Asian guys.

It’s not that I have never dated a non Asian guy, it’s just that I now have decided instead of Asian men being my preference, they will now be a requirement.

I think it all started with my first “real” boyfriend. As in the first guy I ever slept with, he was an ABC (Australian born Chinese) and he was older than me and resembled Keanu Reeves (well at least in my naive 19-year-old head he did)

He was a total douche bag and treated me like garbage but damn! He made my first time special, I totally understood the whole bad boy attraction and it was a pretty hard act to follow for the poor “Aussie Chef” who I dated a few months later.

Despite being emotionally scarred by the douchness of my first, who will now be referred to as the “ABC Douche Bag”, I always found myself attracted to Asian guys, there were very few Caucasian guys I actually saw seriously. It’s not that I break people down simply by their race, it’s just that we all have a certain look that makes us weak at the knees and for me, it’s an Asian guy.

Of course I won’t just date an Asian guy simply because he is Asian, he still has to be compatible with me, which is why I started this blog.

To document my quest to find the ultimate Asian man.

To rant and rave and answer my questions, is it really possible for a Caucasian woman to date an Asian man? Or are we just too different?

This is the reason my ex boyfriend gave me, he was born and raised in Singapore, he had a Chinese background and moved to Sydney to study (don’t they all) thank goodness he became a permanent resident and eight years later I met him, we hit it off instantly and I fell hard, so hard, that I’m going to refer to him as “The One” from now on. I was pretty impressed with my catch, he was smart, funny, gorgeous and still had all the quirky qualities I loved in guys, he was strong and taller than me, amazing in bed (yes he was smallish down there but damn he made up for it!) to this day he is still the most satisfying man I have ever been with in bed, call it technique or call it love but he was incredible.

I knew he had never dated a non Asian girl before and as time went on, I noticed he would label people by their nationalities and the stereotypes associated with them, for example he thought all Aussies were bogans and racist and I must have been the exception. This really used to bother me as he would refuse to socialise with my friends (despite only having one actual other Aussie born friend) and even ABC’s, I noticed his friends (all Asian born Asians) were also quite unsure of me and would be very standoffish and some were straight up rude to me. When he changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship” (the ultimate commitment!) his friends were all shocked and it didn’t take long for his wall to fill up with comments in Mandarin and Singlish about the fact that I was white (btw these are easily translated , Google duh, don’t know who they thought they were tricking by writing in a language foreign to me) and while there were the few positive comments that sort of made me feel like a trophy or status symbol, they were the only positives I could find amongst being called an “ang moh” (an old school racist term used by Singaporeans and Malaysians to describe Caucasians). While it slightly bothered me, what bothered me more was the fact that it didn’t seem to bother my boyfriend (who was always ready to label any slightly negative comment directed toward him as racist). One time in a food court a man approached him from behind and asked “The One” if he could use the empty chair next to him, without turning around “The ‘One” said he could and then told me that the man had spoken to him slowly because he was Asian, with a smirk I had to point out the fact that the man who asked to borrow the chair was an Asian, “The One” mumbled something about him probably being an ABC…

From day one I knew the fact that I was white was an issue for “The One”, sometimes he was proud of it, other times he thought it caused problems, sometimes he couldn’t see why I would be offended when he would comment that Aussies had no culture and were all close minded racists.

I tend to disagree, maybe I am a minority but when you grow up in the western suburbs of Sydney and you are the only blonde haired, blue eyed girl in your class, you tend to be exposed to more cultures than most, the public school I went to didn’t have Christmas decorations of Santa in case it offended anyone, I knew how to use chopsticks before I could tie my shoes and our Greek neighbours would give us fresh grapes from their vine while our Chinese neighbours would invite us to watch the firecrackers they would let off for Chinese New Year. As a little kid I adored this world, I don’t even think it ever really occurred to me that they were “different”, I just assumed, that was Australia (or maybe it was just Bankstown) . To me the Australian culture was about accepting and blending all cultures. Obviously “The One” and I had a difference of opinion because we are no longer together.

Despite me trying my hardest to fit in to his world and my family and friends welcoming him with open arms, he felt it was too big of a gap and that it just could never work out, his parting words to me were that I would find a nice ABC who was more like me.

I refuse to believe that people who were raised in different countries aren’t compatible, I refuse to believe an entire race of people can’t possibly understand or be compatible with anyone outside their race, no matter how differently they were raised, and damn! I just think Asian men are hot.

So I’m going to document my experiences of dating Asian men, not only because I love to write but because I don’t know any other white girls who share my interest, so I’m going to blog like people are enthralled and see what happens.

So what do you think? Is it that big of a deal?

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3 thoughts on “From “Girlfriend” to “Ang Moh” in one Facebook comment

  1. Yeah I agree I’m asian from singapore.. but for asian man to have a relationship is quite difficult cos Caucasian women are difficult because white girls are attractive and gorgeous. .

  2. I think any relationship , whether interracial/intercultural or not, is hard if you choose to make it hard. We all have these kind of mental barriers that sometimes hold us back from truly enjoying our moments together and making things work despite all the very real pressures from society that exist.

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